I feel a little bit of a fraud as I write this post. Since my wedding, and the end of my free online coaching plan with Nemesis, I have undone all my hard work. The results were not the incredible transformation I had dreamed of at the beginning (all down to my fast cake hands) but it's only now, looking back, that I realise just how good the results actually were. I maintained them for 6 months, with ups and downs along the way, but I didn't really appreciate how much fat I had actually lost, until I put it all back on again.
That's the problem with diets - they always end.
Over the 6 months of coaching with Lainey and Sharon, through their training and nutrition guidance, I lost almost 7lbs, and 6cm from my waist. I think because the numbers sound small and, like everybody, I take a very critical approach to the way I view my body, I felt like I hadn't really achieved much. I couldn't see the physical changes myself. Actually when I add it up, I lost a total of 32.9cm from my entire body! I will forever be grateful to both coaches for all their guidance, and for never giving up on me. No matter how bad a week I'd had at check in, they always found a positive!
I am not the model client but these girls know their stuff, educating themselves continually as well as learning through their own experiences, and clients. I'd recommend Nemesis to anyone who is truly determined to reach their goals with the help of a highly knowledgable, and encouraging coach!
Struggling to stay on track
With so much going on in my life, I was seriously stressed and stopped enjoying my workouts. They'd become more of a chore than the endorphin boosting sessions I had previously enjoyed. I deviated from the plan - skipped workouts and ate well outwith my macros - and I beat myself up about it and felt like a failure, but always picked myself up and got back on it.
Like I said, the problem with diets, is they always have an end. While for the most part of my coaching plan I didn't feel deprived - I was on 1800-2000 calories for the majority of it - I always had that end date of my wedding day in my mind. When I'd be free to eat all the pizza and chocolate biscuits my heart desired! Right enough, I've eaten every single food I'd craved over the last 6 months, and then some! I've regained all the weight I lost and my clothes barely fit.
Sacrifices & Priorities
Towards the end of the plan I was listening to a lot of podcasts on the topic of balance and I began to realise that to get any further with my fat loss and get really lean, I had to make sacrifices. I'd have to sacrifice spontaneous trips to ice cream shops with my sister and indulgent date nights with my husband. I'd have to miss even more restaurant launches and promos, and boozy nights out with the girls - or at least be the "boring" one sipping water. I've come to the conclusion that these just aren't sacrifices that I'm willing to make any more. While I'd love to look like a fitness model with an incredible six pack, it's just not that important to me in comparison with those seemingly normal, every day moments with my loved ones. They are my priority.
Tracking macros does work for fat loss, there's no denying it - I did it! But I can't help but feel that, no matter what anyone says, it's not a lifestyle. It's a great way of getting in shape for something specific, but I'm not going to track every gram of carbs, fat and protein that passes my lips for the rest of my life, am I? At the end of the day, it'll be the good times and good food shared with family and friends that I'll look back on fondly in 50 years time!
So, what now?
So, this is where I am now. Right back at the beginning - 9lbs heavier than I was on my wedding day, squeezing myself into my bigger sized work clothes. I could go back to counting my macros and calories and slogging it out on the treadmill at the end of every weights session, but I don't want to. Yes, I want to get back where I was, but I refuse to diet!
First of all I'm going to take care of the basics - walking 10,000 steps and drinking 2 litres of water daily. I will workout when and how I want to, because I want to. I will not feel guilty for missing a training session and I will try my best to eat well without depriving myself of life's guilty pleasures, or overindulging in them either!
It's going to be a long and bumpy road, but I am on a mission to finally find balance!