Still running, still running from you...

This week I've decided to do the Kettleworx 6 week challenge. The last 2 years of my life have been a constant battle to lose weight and keep it off. I've dropped from a size 16 to a 10, but I'm never satisfied. If you know me, you'll probably know I'm a little bit obsessed with my weight. But not in the way that I'm living on rabbit food and exercising like a maniac every day - that's the problem. I lack motivation and self-discipline. I don't eat because I need to to survive, I eat because I enjoy food. That's the other problem - I really, really like food.

As a size 16 I never really considered myself fat, I still don't consider a size 16 to be 'fat'. But I was very unhappy with my weight & the way that I looked. I know this will sound bad (hopefully not offensive) but some people suit being a larger size, Adele for example. Can you imagine her any other way? It's just the way she is and she looks great. But I looked like a puffy inflated version of my former self. At 17 I started partying and drinking excessively - I think the booze was the main culprit for my weight gain. When I started dating Gordon at 18 we were either out drinking every night and grabbing a takeaway on the way home, or we stayed in and cooked fry ups or shoved a pizza in the oven. Accompanied by yet more booze. Needless to say I ballooned up to a 16 in no time - I remember trying on a "large" dress in Zara and being absolutely devastated when it wouldn't go near me! I actually started to dread shopping trips! But it wasn't until January 2010, when I saw photos of myself at a Hogmanay party that I realised I needed to do something about it.

I kickstarted the weight loss by banning booze from my life for the 1st 6 weeks of 2010, along with the fry-ups and takeaways! Gordon and I started cooking together - I didn't even know I could cook before then! We made soups, bolognaise, stir frys and many other dishes. They weren't particularly 'healthy' meals, I was never on a 'diet'. There was no weight watchers or atkins involved, just real homemade good food. If i ever say I'm on a diet I just mean I'm trying not to eat pointless crap! (Biscuits, crisps etc.) I still went out for meals with friends but would choose soup or baked potatoes with orange juice, over the burgers & booze my friends were having. Most of my family and friends were very supportive and with their help I lost almost a stone. But I soon got stuck at that weight & realised it would take more than just a balanced diet to achieve my goal.

So I joined the gym. I'm still a member and pay my monthly fee but seem to go through phases of loving the gym and going at least twice a week, to being ridiculously lazy and not going at all for months. The latter is my current situation unfortunately! I'm hoping to get back into it soon. Since then I've also tried circuit training - I lasted almost a year of going every Thursday night, before getting a bit bored of it and trying the Kettlebells class the trainer had started. I found this much more enjoyable and am still a firm believer that Kettleworx works! After just a month of attending the classes twice a week I could see a huge difference in myself - my legs and arms were more toned and I was feeling fitter every day. But again, I got a bit bored, and it became a bit of an inconvenience going home after work, changing into my gym gear & heading to the community centre for at least an hour of weight training. When all I really want to do after working 9-5.30 is stick the tea on and sprawl on the couch to watch Eastenders. So again I stopped going to the classes. Last year I signed up for the Baker Hughes 10k race in Aberdeen, in aid of CLAN Cancer Care. This was my motivation to start running. Again, I enjoy running once I'm out there but the problem is finding the motivation to actually go out and do it. So I trained up until the race, completed it in 1hour & 5minutes... but have only ran 2 or 3 times since. I always manage to find an excuse - it's too cold, I've had a long day, I've got a headache... there's always something.

And this is where I'm at now. I'm a size 10 who occasionally get's a bit obsessed with exercise and then gives up again. Although I'm happy as a size 10, I don't plan on being any smaller, the problem now is that I know I'm going to spend the rest of my life in this constant battle to maintain my weight. If I stop watching what I eat for just 1 week, I gain a good few pounds and it takes ages to get it off again. It's so easy for weight to pile on but 100x harder to get rid of it! Don't get me wrong, we still eat rubbish, we have a takeaway once a week, but I can only do that if I'm very careful with my diet for the rest of the week. I'm trying to eat salads for my lunch every day at the moment... But I don't like lettuce. We try to walk the dog every night but often end up just going round the block. I started going to kettlebell classes again but have given up, yet again, these past few weeks.

So my latest phase is the Kettleworx DVD workouts. There are 3 DVD's - Cardio, Core & Resistance - each with 6 x 20minute workouts. The idea is that you do 1 exercise from each disc, every week for 6 weeks. That's 3 x 20mins a week. I can get home from work, put the tea on and do the workout while it cooks! That's the plan anyway. As I said before I believe Kettleworx works and if I can stick to it I'm hoping to see big improvements in myself. A toned, slim belly would be nice for a start! I'll let you know  how I get on! If you're still reading this, thanks - and apologies if I've bored you to tears, I think I needed to get this off my chest haha :)

How do you keep fit? Have you tried kettlebells before? Any tips would be appreciated, let me know your healthy diet tips!



  1. girl you must be outta your mind. your figure is fantastic!! but i understand about insecurities about weight. just remember you are beautiful!!!- jade xxx

  2. I'm quite similar about exercise - sometimes I go on a splurge and then I just can't be bothered to do it for a while. Not good! I'm attempting to go running, swimming, and use the Wii Fit. I think my problem is I get bored, so I need to make sure I do loads of different things rather than one thing all the time.

  3. may i just say this is the most inspiring blog post i have ever read! you make me want to get off my lazy ass and work out - thanks! :) haha xxx p.s. well actually you're whole blog is inspiring and makes me want to take photos of my clothes lol maybe one here and there if i can be bothered....